Beautifully written. I deleted my account about 4 years ago, only to replace it with Reddit which is even more of a problem.
As a former creative-turned-addict, I long for the days where I was bored. Where I could eat cereal without a YouTube video or clean my room without a podcast. Dead air used to be the frequency on which my ideas and the time to execute them came from. But it's uncomfortable now.
i absolutely relate to that last bit. i’m currently working on forcing myself to be okay with boredom. i used to love being alone and finding something to create out of boredom, now i just feel restless and stale when i’m bored
Really well-written, putting a finger on a lot of thoughts I've had recently.
One day a year ago I logged off Twitter after over a decade of near-daily use and never came back. I sometimes think about the people I forged bonds with on there, and how we've slowly drifted apart in the year since I left because I'm not keeping up to pace with what they are discoursing about. I would say something that had apparently been hyper-analyzed to shreds on Twitter and deemed Bad, Actually, (and these would be small things like takes on characters in media or similar) but had no way of knowing this because I hadn't been privy to any of this, and thus what I said became a Take, and a stale one at that, and they liked me a little less and sighed heavily as they corrected me on the error of my ways. It became harder and harder to connect to their way of thinking, which the more I distanced came from such a dark way of viewing others. And it was familiar. It really was. Which made me all the more resolved in not returning.
I've been very alone in the year since I left, but I think it's for the better. Twitter was not a fix to loneliness, it just made me a people-pleaser aching to belong. I'm not proud of that, but I am starting to take pride in the person I am becoming outside of that site.
in the past months, I’ve deleted and reinstalled r
twitter many times. After reading this, for the first time I contemplated deleting my private account with 3 or 4 followers that I’ve had for years now that I use very frequently(about 3-5 tweets everyday) and I was shocked by how appalling the idea seemed to me, it moved me to such distress that I’ve been unable to stop thinking about why that is, and the only way I can articulate it for now is that it feels like all those tweets are just Me, my raw self. Sometimes when I have nothing better to do I scroll through all those thoughts I’ve had in the past to feel Real. When I was in therapy before every appointment I would scroll through my tweets to get a better idea of how I would describe my mental state to my therapist. The idea of erasing all of that makes me want to die just a little bit. Anyway so like. Yeah. Great article, looking forward to reading more from you
Absolutely in the same boat. I use my PT more than my main for similar reasons — that free expression, all that. And yet I've been on and off the app, conflicted on if I should keep using it. Maybe cause like this essay is suggesting, that expression isn't free and comes at a cost. So it's kinda like, why shouldn't I just journal? Or text a friend? Cause I'd still have a record of my thoughts to look back and reflect on, and I'm making a better connection either to myself or someone else, not The Void. anywho, wish ya well on your journey also
I never got into Twitter, but these are exactly my feelings about why I removed Instagram from my phone last year. I've felt so much lighter and healthier without it, but I also still feel tied to it - I want to know when my favorite tattoo artist will open her books, I want to get cat videos from my sisters, etc. I check IG via web browser a couple times a month. Someday I'd like to delete the account altogether, but I'm not sure yet how to let go of these last, vestigial ties.
I loved this essay - CJ, you continue to articulate so much that feels intuitive, yet I would never be able to put my finger on the pulse of it like you do.
I beg for points no matter what site its on. Even in fanfiction, this haunts me. Kudos and Hits, Karma and Comments, Likes and Reblogs. I need to escape
ive never really used twitter actively and reading this I'm so glad about that. the reality contorting effects you describe here sound horrifying. i definitely relate to the video game brain mode, been playing the new Zelda game and it's great but i had a dream that the world was ending Zelda style last night and that was not cool, kinda shows how much of an impact that shit has on our brain chemistry. we need to remember that video games and social media are REAL and not detached from the "real world" so what we do there has an impact on our very existence.
I won't lie I do use twitter but I didn't relate to the name of the app in this essay because I mostly go there like twice a week to look at some fandom content and dip in like 5 minutes, but this essay made me aware how social media in general has shaped how I think of ideas and experiences, a lot of my ideas shaped for a social media platform to be played just so that someone can see. My Twitter right now goes by the name of Tik Tok but I've been avoiding that app half the time. I hope I never get truly invested in these apps... or maybe I'm already invested but unaware how much I've invested...(insert self depreciating joke here) I hope to see more videos and more writings soon <3
I was scared for so long to delete twitter because of the fear of not being “in the know” or “on the pulse.” Since deleting (along with tiktok) I’m actually relieved to not be in whatever “know” I thought I would miss out on. My brain feels free and more focused on my own thoughts rather than those of some random strangers. Great read!
as someone who’s gotten rid of twitter, instagram, and reddit in the past month, if only temporarily, it has been increasingly hard not to go right back, i’m teaching myself to break free of my dopamine addiction basically and this attention redistribution is so much work, we don’t even realise how much we’re dependent
I don't use Twitter. When you talk about how Twitter makes you simplify experiences down to something you can share with strangers, I am not immune to that. The horrifying thing I find myself doing is, when I have a "content-worthy" life experience, sometimes it makes me feel bad that I don't have any significant social media presence. Almost like the experience was wasted because I don't have a way to share it with complete strangers, even though I LIVED the experience with my loved ones.
I don't use twitter but I do use tumblr, justifying that to myself via the fact that tumblr does not have a proper algorithm but instead that posts are shared via re-blogs aka community feedback, however I have still banned myself from posting about my personal life or thoughts due to how much the stress of performing my Self got to me, instead I only post my art.
It's not a perfect system but it's better than what I used to do.
Beautifully written. I deleted my account about 4 years ago, only to replace it with Reddit which is even more of a problem.
As a former creative-turned-addict, I long for the days where I was bored. Where I could eat cereal without a YouTube video or clean my room without a podcast. Dead air used to be the frequency on which my ideas and the time to execute them came from. But it's uncomfortable now.
My own silence is uncomfortable. It's tragic.
then do it. I've got a piece of paper hanging in front of my desk on which i wrote GET BORED to remind myself. You can handle your thoughts, trust me
i absolutely relate to that last bit. i’m currently working on forcing myself to be okay with boredom. i used to love being alone and finding something to create out of boredom, now i just feel restless and stale when i’m bored
"only to replace it with Reddit"
Gross... reddit is actually worse than twitter [pre-2015 twitter, anyway... even then reddit was a painfully obvious propaganda platform]
Really well-written, putting a finger on a lot of thoughts I've had recently.
One day a year ago I logged off Twitter after over a decade of near-daily use and never came back. I sometimes think about the people I forged bonds with on there, and how we've slowly drifted apart in the year since I left because I'm not keeping up to pace with what they are discoursing about. I would say something that had apparently been hyper-analyzed to shreds on Twitter and deemed Bad, Actually, (and these would be small things like takes on characters in media or similar) but had no way of knowing this because I hadn't been privy to any of this, and thus what I said became a Take, and a stale one at that, and they liked me a little less and sighed heavily as they corrected me on the error of my ways. It became harder and harder to connect to their way of thinking, which the more I distanced came from such a dark way of viewing others. And it was familiar. It really was. Which made me all the more resolved in not returning.
I've been very alone in the year since I left, but I think it's for the better. Twitter was not a fix to loneliness, it just made me a people-pleaser aching to belong. I'm not proud of that, but I am starting to take pride in the person I am becoming outside of that site.
in the past months, I’ve deleted and reinstalled r
twitter many times. After reading this, for the first time I contemplated deleting my private account with 3 or 4 followers that I’ve had for years now that I use very frequently(about 3-5 tweets everyday) and I was shocked by how appalling the idea seemed to me, it moved me to such distress that I’ve been unable to stop thinking about why that is, and the only way I can articulate it for now is that it feels like all those tweets are just Me, my raw self. Sometimes when I have nothing better to do I scroll through all those thoughts I’ve had in the past to feel Real. When I was in therapy before every appointment I would scroll through my tweets to get a better idea of how I would describe my mental state to my therapist. The idea of erasing all of that makes me want to die just a little bit. Anyway so like. Yeah. Great article, looking forward to reading more from you
Absolutely in the same boat. I use my PT more than my main for similar reasons — that free expression, all that. And yet I've been on and off the app, conflicted on if I should keep using it. Maybe cause like this essay is suggesting, that expression isn't free and comes at a cost. So it's kinda like, why shouldn't I just journal? Or text a friend? Cause I'd still have a record of my thoughts to look back and reflect on, and I'm making a better connection either to myself or someone else, not The Void. anywho, wish ya well on your journey also
I never got into Twitter, but these are exactly my feelings about why I removed Instagram from my phone last year. I've felt so much lighter and healthier without it, but I also still feel tied to it - I want to know when my favorite tattoo artist will open her books, I want to get cat videos from my sisters, etc. I check IG via web browser a couple times a month. Someday I'd like to delete the account altogether, but I'm not sure yet how to let go of these last, vestigial ties.
I loved this essay - CJ, you continue to articulate so much that feels intuitive, yet I would never be able to put my finger on the pulse of it like you do.
I beg for points no matter what site its on. Even in fanfiction, this haunts me. Kudos and Hits, Karma and Comments, Likes and Reblogs. I need to escape
don't use twitter but I deleted tiktok a few weeks ago and wow this was a rewarding read
ive never really used twitter actively and reading this I'm so glad about that. the reality contorting effects you describe here sound horrifying. i definitely relate to the video game brain mode, been playing the new Zelda game and it's great but i had a dream that the world was ending Zelda style last night and that was not cool, kinda shows how much of an impact that shit has on our brain chemistry. we need to remember that video games and social media are REAL and not detached from the "real world" so what we do there has an impact on our very existence.
I won't lie I do use twitter but I didn't relate to the name of the app in this essay because I mostly go there like twice a week to look at some fandom content and dip in like 5 minutes, but this essay made me aware how social media in general has shaped how I think of ideas and experiences, a lot of my ideas shaped for a social media platform to be played just so that someone can see. My Twitter right now goes by the name of Tik Tok but I've been avoiding that app half the time. I hope I never get truly invested in these apps... or maybe I'm already invested but unaware how much I've invested...(insert self depreciating joke here) I hope to see more videos and more writings soon <3
Not to be annoying. BUT! In the 55th (including the Musk-quote) alinea you say
"People who habitually use Twitter will often make comments about Twitter as if its synonymous with lived experience.“
This is wrong, because it is supposed to say it's synonymous instead of its synonymous.
reminded me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5y2GKk6sOI&t=9s
Thank you for this eloquence. We need to talk again sometime.
Unfortunately I am not interested in hearing this right now, please try again later
I was scared for so long to delete twitter because of the fear of not being “in the know” or “on the pulse.” Since deleting (along with tiktok) I’m actually relieved to not be in whatever “know” I thought I would miss out on. My brain feels free and more focused on my own thoughts rather than those of some random strangers. Great read!
as someone who’s gotten rid of twitter, instagram, and reddit in the past month, if only temporarily, it has been increasingly hard not to go right back, i’m teaching myself to break free of my dopamine addiction basically and this attention redistribution is so much work, we don’t even realise how much we’re dependent
I don't use Twitter. When you talk about how Twitter makes you simplify experiences down to something you can share with strangers, I am not immune to that. The horrifying thing I find myself doing is, when I have a "content-worthy" life experience, sometimes it makes me feel bad that I don't have any significant social media presence. Almost like the experience was wasted because I don't have a way to share it with complete strangers, even though I LIVED the experience with my loved ones.
I don't use twitter but I do use tumblr, justifying that to myself via the fact that tumblr does not have a proper algorithm but instead that posts are shared via re-blogs aka community feedback, however I have still banned myself from posting about my personal life or thoughts due to how much the stress of performing my Self got to me, instead I only post my art.
It's not a perfect system but it's better than what I used to do.